Monday, August 22, 2016

Chap 5: New fervour…

After hearing sorry for a millionth time and two boxes of Haldiram Gulabjamuns, My hostel warden whose real name was Sree Nagraj Satya Narayana … something something , in short Nagraj,  finally excused me..

Really, it was one of the days I’ll never forget in life…

Days passed…
Each day started with some kind of rumor or news and that helped hostel maintain its craziness all the time. Today’s evening came with the news about fresher’s party…

For the first time in life I realized that boys also panic when it comes to looks and last minute dressing. There were discussions about Mr. and Ms. Fresher contest and lots of music and fun activities.
Fresher party news was like jungle fire, the talks and discussions, everywhere around.

During dinner time, Milind, another batch mate, dropped a bomb saying that the lead guitarist of our college band is down with jaundice and the whole band is worried for his replacement. (Milind’s elder brother was in same college, 3rd year, so he was like the college encyclopedia for us.)

I saw a guitar with your luggage. Do you play?” ~ Milind asked me dinner amidst.

Well, I play some chords and little bit of lead too… but never played for a band or something” ~ I replied.

Perfect, Why don’t you play with our college band?” ~ Milind asked

I don’t know… I mean… I have no idea which kind of music they play and moreover why would they select me to play along with them?” ~ I replied with little anxiety.

Hmmm, because, they need a guitarist as soon as possible… and hey, what’s wrong in jamming.. just meet them and see if you gel along with them.” ~ Milind told

Hmmm… I don’t mind that…” ~ I told

OK, tomorrow meet them at 12 @ auditorium. I’ll let them know that you are coming. ” ~ Milind told in hurry as he got up from the table to wash his hands.

The talk with Milind filled my heart with excitement. Playing for a band was always my dream and it was going to be fulfilled soon…



Chap 4: First day








My first night in hostel was not as bad as I had feared until I heard a horrifying sound…as if some boy is shouting while beating drums…and bells… ~
Ting Ting Hey… Hey Hey ..
          Ting Ting Hey …Hey Hey

What the heck…” I almost shouted

As my sleepy head came back to alert mode, I realized that it was Deepak’s alarm…

He took his tooth brush and soap case and hurried to the washroom. Within ten minutes he re-appeared , grabbed a text book, syllabus book and rushed outside the room… In the haste he didn’t bother to close the door behind him…

As only my head was outside the blanket, cool breeze of October month filled in the room and ran through my hair…

Ahhh! Absolute bliss!!!” I murmured while stretching my right arm outside the blanket…

I peeped outside the door and saw Deepak at one corner covered with shawl…engrossed in books…

Daaaad!!! You got no one better than this cartoon to put me up with?” - I almost said aloud

Anyways I was awake … And anxiety didn’t allow me to go back to sleep so I got ready early and came out of the hostel to explore the campus on my own…

As I was crossing the blocks, with the names – Information Science, Electronics and Communication, Telecommunication, I wondered how would be the life of engineers who have come out of these walls… 

How am I going to spend 4 years away from home, my friends back at home? 

Though I had put on a brave face but only my heart knew how nervous I was.

The empty campus was slowly getting filled … Within an hour the whole campus came to life with the energy of youth.

I started walking towards my class room. 

As I was going to enter, two guys came rushing outside the class room.  One of them kept hand on my shoulder and said
Hey, we are going to get chalks and duster from the stock room. Can you go to the staff room and call Vadivelu sir for chemistry class without any delay ?”

They rushed downstairs before even finishing the sentence.
Understanding the urgency I too rushed with the same pace towards staff room.

What was the name again… Vadivelu… Why do they have funny names in South India” ~ I wondered.

There was one male and two female teachers sitting in the staff room. I looked at the dark thin only male teacher siting there and asked

Are you Vadivelu, sir?

Both female teachers looked at me and broke into a big laughter…

Sir got up from chair and with red eyes and angry face shouted at me
You bloody rascal! What do you think of yourself? So much guts??? I’ll screw  your life… Your career … Get out of here …you bloody rascal…

I came out in confusion… and saw few guys standing outside our classroom, laughing uncontrollably… Deepak was also there  standing at one corner, smiling…I caught him by collar and asked what’s wrong…

You have fallen prey to the prank of seniors… Vadivelu is the name of Tamil film Comedian and seniors tease our chemistry sir by calling him Vadivelu… as he resembles him … His real name is Nagraj” Deepak smiled and told

Oh No!!!!!” ~ I grunted

And to increase your agony.. He is our hostel warden too” ~ Deepak told
    

  “I almost fainted …”

Chap 3: The story Begins...





Hostel…A different world all together.


 Students from all over India were there. It was funny to hear Bengali songs from one room and Tamil from the very next door.

Guys of different caste, color and creed, trying to get closer, breaking the language barrier. As if God had picked flowers of different color and style & placed them in a same vase.

 “
It will be fun”- I thought

With the heavy steps as I reached my hostel room, I found my roommate already there, engrossed in text books.

“What’s this guy??? A nerd???” - I thought

Hey Hi! I am Aviral, Your new roommate.” I said, while giving my hand for a Hand Shake.

Hi! I am Deepak. First semester Computer Science...” He told, visibly disappointed to get a roommate.

Hey Cool! Ill b joining CS too, from tomorrow…” ~I said.
 Deepak faked a smile and buried his head back in the books.

“So, how is everything? Oh they have already started teaching in class? I have missed only a couple of classes, I guess. Have they covered a lot of portion?” -I asked, while staring at his heavily marked text book.

 Deepak’s face expressions changed. At once, he closed the books front of him and said

 ” No…No… This book was already marked. And these notes aren’t prepared by me.”
Weirdness was written all over him. After a pause of few seconds he further said
Hey Man! Don’t tell to anyone that I have the notes already. I don’t like to share my notes with anyone.
There was a warning tone in his voice. It made me little uncomfortable.

Whatever!!!” I muttered under my breath and started unpacking my bags.

I was kind of upset for being put up with a nerd… I had never seen a guy like him before.

“Even girls won’t behave like him” ~ I thought

I am the only child of my parents and not used to share my room. Though I had prepared my mindset for a roommate but being put up with a nerd was really annoying me.

Deepak was from West Bengal, kind of bookworm with some extra flab over his tummy and glasses of high power over his eyes. Usually a silent one... Always busy with text books and a Syllabus Booklet.

I spent the whole afternoon and evening talking to other freshers in the Hostel. There were intros, Handshakes, discussions, preaching everywhere. As, I was busy remembering their names, time escaped somewhere.

The best part was the location of the room. It was the only room on the terrace. It was like a small penthouse.

“ That’s the advantage of being born to an influential Dad” ~ I thought.

 College Campus was really beautiful and our hostel was in the campus itself. I had already fallen in love with the place.

It was getting dark and was bliss to stare outside the window… I was lost somewhere in deep thoughts about my future when Deepak’s voice interrupted me.

“Are u missing home?” Deepak asked

A smile ran through my lips…

No… No… It’s a lovely place and I am kind of looking forward towards tomorrow’s class.” I replied, cleverly hiding my nervousness

Oh! Tomorrow would be your first class right? Don’t you want to visit a temple?” Deepak asked.

What temple???”  I asked with a confused face.

Yes! You should take blessings of God before attending the first class.” Deepak said

Come on! It’s ok. God is within. And I don’t go to temples!” - I snapped back.

Whatever! Your wish! Anyways I have initiated the plan of temple. So, I have to visit temple now or God may get angry!” - Deepak said with little irritation.

“Whaaat the ...???” It was hard for me to suppress my laugh over that sentence of Deepak.

“What a freak” ~ I thought

Deepak was getting ready for the temple. I could sense that he is angry with me from his gestures.

“What the heck!!! What will I do alone in this room!!! Let’s go and explore a little”~ I thought.

Buddy I am sorry! Let’s go to the temple. What if God really gets angry with me? ” I said, trying to keep my tone serious.

Hmmm! OK come!” Deepak said with little anger in his tone.

Climate of Bangalore is the first thing you notice on your first visit and it makes you fall in love with the city.

Though Deepak was flabby, but he walked really fast. I wondered how many streets we crossed to reach the temple.

It was a South Indian Temple, owned by a Tamil priest family. There were around 10 idols of different Gods. But the main idol belonged to Lord Ganesha.

As soon as Deepak reached in front of the Ganesha idol, he fell on his knees and started praying with closed eyes. I wondered if he was saying sorry for bringing a jerk like me along with him.

The temple was a really beautiful one. Some sweet voice was singing devotional song on microphone somewhere, giving a divine feeling to the temple.

I waited there but Deepak was in no mood to open his eyes. I wondered if he was actually praying or fallen asleep.

Standing there and waiting for him to finish his prayers was getting really boring. So I started exploring the temple on my own. There were so many idols Shiva, Parvati, Hanuman and some south Indian Gods, completely new to me…

While visiting those small idols, I reached the backside of the temple complex. There was big veranda and at the other end I could see the girl, almost of my age, singing devotional song. There were lots of kids sitting around her.
 It didn’t take long for me to understand that she was actually teaching those devotional songs to the kids.

It was a very beautiful sight. As, she finished the song she was singing, she called a small girl from the group and made one of them to her sit on her lap..
And they all started singing “Alai Payuthey Kanna”, a Tamil devotional song.

Wohhh!!! What a feel, the whole temple complex came alive. As if God himself had come down to bless all.

Well, It is not easy to find a Delhi boy who identifies a Carnatic Devotional song and appreciates it. But I am an exceptional case. I am a Musician.

 A die heart fan of Maestro AR Rahman. Grown up hearing Hindi and Tamil songs of him.
AlaiPayuthey Kanna, the song I had heard in one of his Tamil movies so I could identify the song and loved it too.

It is not a usual sight for me to see a girl of that age singing in a temple and that too teaching the kids. (Pardon my Delhi guy mentality)

“Oh! She is a Tamilian..May be an AR Rahman fan too…Cool”  ~I thought.
 Before I could move towards her Deepak grabbed me from behind.

What are you doing here? I was searching for you in the whole temple and you are standing here, looking at girls???” Deepak said as he tried to pull me towards the exit of the temple…

Get Off Me Man!!! She is a great singer and was singing my favorite song!” I snapped back

Oh ho! So now u know Kannad songs too? Do not make things up now…” Deepak said in mocking tone.

Oh man!
U r sick!
It’s not a Kannada song,
It’s from… Alai Payuthey… ARR…
I mean devotional song arranged by ARR… Ahhh!!!
Why am I even trying to explain to you…
U wait for me in the front and I’ll be back…” saying that as I turned back, to my despair, she had gone.

Oh! Where did she go??? Wish I could compliment her once.”

“It’s not very often that you hear Tamil ARR song in North India… Why am I even trying to tell you…? You won’t understand” ~ I was really angry.

Deepak was really surprised at my sudden outburst…

“Why are you getting angry? Anyways if u had gone to her,  she wouldn’t have talked to you. You think you are the first person to like her? Hostel guys often try to approach her. She never gives attention to any of them. Actually that’s the reason, there are so many stories famous about her, that she is a snob and stuff. Don’t believe any of them. Her name is Pallavi. She is the daughter of one of the college trustees. So try not to offend her.”

“Anyways, she is also a first year student of our college. You can meet her in college sometimes, if you really need to. This is not a right place to talk to her anyways.” ~ Deepak told

Words of Deepak relaxed my anger somewhat but I was still irritated.

All the way back to hostel Deepak kept on explaining to me about what are the dos and don’ts of the hostel.

About food, we are not supposed to complaint to warden as he is the one who is the main villain.

He horrified me with the stories of bossism of seniors, in spite of ragging being banned in our college.


His Bengali accent sounded really funny.


As he was talking something about his mom, Bengal Sweets and his dreams about home cooked food…
My mind kept replaying the song from the temple.


“Wish I get to hear her again...” ~ I thought





Chap 2: Years Ago... Little steps towards my journey




After getting my admission done in a prestigious engineering college in Bangalore, my dad rushed to catch a flight back to Delhi as his business meetings were put on hold…


     While leaving, Dad shook hands with me formally with a smile, as if he had bagged a big deal… and got into the cab, which was already waiting for him.


I thought I was very happy to escape from that house and was brave enough to face the world on my own. But as I bid-adieu to my Dad, I experienced a blank feeling, a vacuum around me.

     I felt scared, nervous and to tell the truth, excited at the same time…

     All the way, I kept telling myself, “I am going to study very hard & that’s going to make me very successful in life… Clueless on what stars had in store for me…

I had no idea that with my little steps back to the hostel, I had already started drawing a new story on the canvas of time…

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Chap 1: The Present…



 I don't know what to do with me life...

Should I also get into the queue with other madmen in the chase of endless wealth? Or run away to some unknown mountain like some sufi saint or sage in the search of redemption? Or just end my life and finish this restless drama of this countless breathing?

Whatever... but i will not leave before writing down the story of my life. But Whats so special in my life to pen down? 

I don't know... 

May be it will hit the chord with some other soul reading it, same frequency  people (as she used to call them...)

or may be I want to memorialize her in my words. Or while writing, may be, Ill get to live that life once again, at least in my thoughts.

 Here I am...
          Sitting in a dark room with just a small lamp illuminating the pages of my diary.

While I try to kill the hours of my life by burning my lungs with the smoke of cigarettes, I close my eyes thinking about, what went wrong. 

    Was it my destiny, my fate, my foolishness or just a prank by God?

     Today as I look back towards the journey of my life, all that I can remember is… those years!!! The years full of life. Moments filled with music, dance, dreams and lots of dreams… and … Those eyes… the eyes which had every possible expression …

     The eyes which took its last breath staring back at me... asking for answers (which I never had)… The only heart in the galaxy who actually loved me genuinely and that love caused her death…